How to Change Your Past from Causing You Fear and Stress
Your past is a place that can cause you a lot of anxiety. The good news is, you can reduce that anxiety by changing how you think about the past.

Often, you can feel intense pain or fear when you remember events in your past.

Why does re-visiting your past cause you great distress or anxiety?

The reason is simple and, I'll help you end the pain and fear you feel by thinking about your past. I'll show you how to have greater peace, happiness, and confidence.

The problem is, you can't change your past. The past is over and done. It is an unchangeable record of events. You can't hop into a time machine and re-do past events in your life that were painful.

So when you re-live certain memories in your past, they can haunt you. They just continue to cause intense pain, agony, longing, sadness, hurt, anger, bitterness, regret, and even fear.

Now, not all thoughts about the past cause anxiety. Often, you can re-live warm and happy memories. Perhaps you can remember the fun of learning to ride a bike. Or, a special birthday party your mom gave you. You might have happy memories of special friends, or pillow fights with your siblings.

For others, the past was mostly good, but your mind obsessively focuses on certain disappointments. Like, you were smallest in your class and you got picked last for a game of dodge ball. Or kids at school teased you and left you out of games played at recess.

For many people, the past isn't filled with happy events. Some people suffered in an alcoholic family. Others were physically or sexually abused. Maybe one of your parents died when you were young. Or, you suffered through your parent's bitter divorce.

Sometimes, it is your own mistakes in the past that create feelings of regret, remorse and sadness. Maybe you abused drugs, and harmed yourself and others. Perhaps you had an affair when you were married, and your spouse and children felt hurt and betrayed.

These painful feelings about your past can make you feel stressed, anxious or worried in your present life. You can walk through your day, feeling discouraged, angry, hurt, sad or scared. This can ruin your day, or, even worse, the rest of your life.

The key to changing your past is to change your ATTITUDE about your past. The past events can't be changed. But what can change is HOW you think about those painful memories.

The key that changes your attitude about your past is FORGIVENESS.

Now I bet I know what you're already thinking: "Kathleen, I can't forgive my father for beating me as a child." Or, "My parents don't deserve forgiveness, for all the suffering they put me through with their divorce." You may think, "I don't deserve to forgive myself for all the pain I caused others."

You may be right. People in the past may not deserve your forgiveness. Or, you may have hurt others badly and think you don't deserve forgiveness.

But every time you think about the painful injuries of the past, it's YOU who drinks the poison of pain and suffering; not them. Your memories hurt YOU, not the people who made you suffer.

Every time you beat yourself up for the mistakes you made in the past, you simply discourage yourself from doing better in the present. You stress yourself out, and now you're no help to yourself or to anyone you love.

Free yourself of your past, so you can feel happy and alive in your present life. You'll feel better, and you'll be able to help those you love.

Forgiveness is NEVER about saying, "It's okay that you hurt me. It doesn't matter. I'm giving you a free pass for all the pain you caused me."

The fact is, it did happen, and it did matter to you, when you were suffering through those painful experiences. It will never be right that you were treated badly.

And, if you made mistakes, forgiveness won't take away the hurt you caused others.

Instead, forgiveness is about asking yourself: "Does it serve me to hold on to the bitter memories of my past? Or, does it serve me better to lay down those painful memories, and stop dragging them around like a big, heavy sack of toxic baggage?"

When you forgive others for how they hurt you in the past, you lay your burdens to rest. Or, you stop beating yourself up for blunders you made.

You can start to move forward into your life, lighter and happier, with greater peace and joy.

You can forgive yourself or someone else by saying: "My forgiveness doesn't make it okay what you did to me. Or, what I did to others. But, it no longer serves me to hold on to the bitterness I have about what you did to me. It no longer serves me to punish myself every day over my past mistakes.

"I will forgive so I can lay my burdens down, and move gently into a happier life.

"I will forgive you so that I free myself from what you did to me. I will forgive myself for my past errors. I will free myself, and I will move forward in my life, with greater peace, happiness, joy, and confidence."

When you free yourself from the past, you can release a lot of anxiety and stress in your present life. You empower yourself to focus on creating a present life that is fulfilling and satisfying. You'll not only be a better, happier person, you'll be able to help those you love as well.

Practice it daily. Forgiveness isn't a one-time event. You may need to repeat it daily, until you feel a greater lightness and release from the past. You may need to repeat it for a long time. Just stay committed to forgiving your past, and you'll free yourself.

You'll get there; don't give up until you are released.

If you're ready to reduce your anxiety and feel relaxed and good about your life, please contact me for a free phone consultation. We can then decide how I may be able to help you with counseling or hypnotherapy .



Back to all articles