How to Stop the Future From Making You Anxious
In last month's newsletter I talked about how to change your past so it won't continue to make you anxious. This month I'm going to talk about how to prevent your future from creating anxiety for yourself.

It's easy to get very anxious and afraid about your future! Have you ever noticed that? And, it's true that you may be dealing with problems today that create worry about your future.

You could be worried about finances, relationships, health problems and any number of other types of problems. Your worries may be all too real! So, you could argue that you can't help but be worried about your future.

If that's the case, then the best way to tackle real worries is to write them down on a piece of paper. Make a list of every single thing you're worried about. Then, look at your list carefully. Ask yourself; is there anything I can do today to help solve these problems?

If there are steps you can take today to help control the outcome of your future, then by all means, take those steps. Do everything realistically possible to solve your problems.

If you've done everything you possibly can, and you're still anxious, then it may help to reach out for emotional support from people you can trust. It might be a special family member, or a good friend, or even a fellow employee at work that you trust. If you don't have someone, consider talking with a minister, or, going to a counselor, like me.

But there are other ways that you might use the future to scare yourself. Sometimes you can over-estimate the probability that bad things will happen to you. I had a client, "Sally," who had been invited to a party by friends she liked. Now, Sally had "social anxiety," a problem where she felt very shy and awkward in a room full of people.

But Sally "overestimated" the probability that she'd have a bad time at the party. "I just know people won't like me," she told me. "I'm not really outgoing, or very witty! I'll probably walk into that party and people won't want to talk to me!"

Sally had already decided that her "future" (at the party) was going to turn out badly. She was creating a lot of anxiety about it for herself. But, I asked her to stay open-minded about the outcome of the party.

I helped her create some new strategies to feel more comfortable at the party. When she came for her next session with me, she reported she had a pretty good time; she was happily surprised. All that worry about her future had been unnecessary, and had caused her a lot of distress!

Another way you can get anxious about the future is to "die a thousand deaths," obsessing about the worst case scenario. It's as though, if you prepare for the worst, well then, you'll be prepared! Instead, you just create a lot of anxiety about the future for yourself!

"Joe" was a client who had a fear of driving on the freeway. He had to drive to Los Angeles for a family funeral. In our session together, Joe told me why he couldn't drive the freeway. "I just know it's going to be gridlock. And, I'll probably get low blood sugar as I sit in traffic. And then I'll faint!"

Joe was "dying a thousand deaths" about this trip to Los Angeles that hadn't even happened! He thought if he could just "imagine" the worst case scenario, he could prepare for it. But, instead, his wild imagination about the future was just making him terrified to drive!

We worked together on creating safe ways to drive the freeway. When he reported back to me, he told me he did have some slowdowns on the freeway. But, he had brought some snacks to eat, and good music to keep him relaxed. He made it to Los Angeles and back with relative ease.

His initial worries about the future just made him panicked and anxious! And all for nothing – he had a pretty good drive to L.A.

Just like Sally and Joe in the examples above, do you create anxiety for yourself about your future? Do you think if you just "worry enough," or, "brace yourself for a bad outcome," that you're controlling your future?

You aren't controlling your future with all that worry. But you ARE scaring yourself, discouraging yourself, and then maybe stopping yourself from living your life. All because you "imagined" a bad outcome in your future, a bad outcome that maybe won't happen.

In order to live life fully, you must take some risks about your future. Now, the risks shouldn't be really foolish; use your common sense. But don't avoid doing things because you've already decided it won't turn out well. You simply may be imagining a negative future, and it might not happen that way!

Challenge your "beliefs" about your future. Take some good risks to challenge your old fears. You might just find yourself enjoying your life more!

If you're ready to reduce your anxiety and feel relaxed and good about your life, please contact me for a free phone consultation. We can then decide how I may be able to help you with counseling or hypnotherapy to reduce your anxiety, panic attacks, fears or phobias.



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